Pros- The only thing I could come up with was that Tara Reid's character wore a shirt baggy enough to cover her horrendous boob job.
Cons- Okay. Let's pretend for a second that the TERRIBLE special effects and CGI didn't singlehandedly ruin this film, or that the lack of character development and sub-par acting didn't make this film laughable within the first three minutes. Above and beyond all that, there are a plethora of unanswered questions, extraordinarily stupid and illogical moments, inconsistencies galore, and just plain old incorrect information. Oy vey. Methinks I should break this down by category.
- Inconsistencies galore- So, one minute the beach is in a full swing hurricane, and in the next shot the waves are calm. One scene shows the characters in a monsoon, the next scene their hair is dry. They are all in the house, and all of a sudden the windows burst with water and it starts to fill up to their waist. As soon as they leave, however, there is less than an inch of water on the ground. ?! SPOILER ALERT- Fin can slice up a shark directly in half as it cascades from the sky at likely record speeds, but can't cut through it from the inside out without taking a painfully pansy-ish amount of time? Lame.
- Just plain old incorrect information- Sharks, although given an unfair cinematic reputation, are not that aggressive. They were, like, in two feet of water just eating people and attacking them at random. Sharks don't play that way, homie. At least, not in real life. Also, these sharks were able to jump ridiculously high, when in reality only few species of shark can actually accomplish this feat. One of the sharks conveniently landed on top of the vehicle they were driving, and was able to eat its way through the roof of the car and attack the passengers. First of all, most breeds of shark can only cognitively function outside of water for between 3-7 minutes, and secondly (although I didn't crunch the numbers) I'm fairly certain that they don't possess the strength to eat through the entire roof of a Jeep. Lastly, let's diffuse the tornado by throwing a bomb in it! Wait, what? Does that actually work? That's a no. And let's not forget the stupid shark in the retirement pool. Sharks can't live in freshwater (unless they're Bull Sharks), let alone highly chlorinated, chemically infested, geriatric pee-ridden pool water. Get your shit together, Sharknado researchers. Were they all wasted when they laid out the story line, or did they just use a Magic 8 ball to guide their brilliant decisions?
- Stupid and illogical moments- So we're throwing bombs in tornados, and I'm just going to have to deal with that, but how in the hell does Matt's flight instructor get sucked up by the tornado through a window, when he and Nova were able to fly in a helicopter (UNBUCKLED) directly next to it without facing its repercussions? Did they take their magic tornado repellant that morning or something? I'm not buying it. Plus, there are tons of moments where sharks "just so happen" to be falling from the sky in the correct manner and position to eat someone on the way down. Does this strike anyone else as highly coincidental? When the hero of the movie is climbing up the rope, a shark jumps (unusually high) and latches on to it. Ummmm, no. That wouldn't happen. With the rope being that thin? And why would the shark even want to? Ay yay yay... Last but not least, the odds of both Fin and Nova ending up in the belly of the same shark, unscathed and alive? It's very biblically poignant, but come on. Really?
- A plethora of unanswered questions- Where on earth did all of these sharks come from? That was never really explained. "Oh, it's just the storm" No way, not buying it. Plus they're way too aggressive. At least in Deep Blue Sea there was a logical explanation for the unnecessary rage in the sharks. I guess if I was floating around in a hurricane, and then a tornado, I'd be pissed too. Why did Fin and his wife split up? And WHY did he get back together with her at the end? She was an irrational be-yotch who couldn't act her way out of a D-list, made for TV, sy-fy movie. Literally.
Wrap up- Clearly, I could go on for hours with this film's issues. At the end of the day though, I have a really hard time believing that this movie was meant to be taken seriously. If it was, god help the movie industry.
Shartnado
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