Film Filter: Off- This movie looked very promising. It included Val Kilmer in the cast, who I feel hasn't done a hit movie in eons, and an enticing story line about a century old house where a family was slaughtered. All in all, I feel like you can't go wrong with that plot...but somehow they did.
Pros- My only pro would be that the Latina woman was hot, but the problem was that she facially favored Eva Mendes and let's face it- this girl didn't even come close to that level of gorgeousness. For the first time I can remember, I have zero pros for a film. Cue slow clap.
Cons- Okay, here's the shortened version of the plethora of things wrong with this film. I'll break it down via the interrogative words lesson I learned, circa 3rd grade.
Who?- Val Kilmer. Fat. Enough said. I kid, but really, the former Batman leading man has let himself gooooo. Plus his role in this film is pretty douche-y, and he is only featured in it for a grand total of about 11 minutes. False advertising. Also, Ving Rhames is in a weeeeeeird role that I don't really think anyone could do justice with but thanks for playing, Ving. The rest of the cast is pretty much a collection of no name actors that even IMDB couldn't scrounge up any information on. Tsk tsk.
What?- What the $&#? is more like it. This film is SO poorly done that I don't even know where to begin. Let's start with really bad, unbelievable acting of TERRIBLY constructed characters with zero depth, and lack of believable relationships between characters which, let's face it, can't really happen well if your characters suck to begin with. Throw into the mix poorly done and highly predictable death scenes and pop out moments and you have yourself the most boring, translucent horror film that I've seen in a while. If I hadn't forced myself to blog about it today, I would have forgotten so much of it I wouldn't have been able to write about it at all.
When?- This story takes place 100 years after a family was slaughtered by their possessed son. So, now everyone has to die? Really? That's dumb and makes no sense.
Where?- I don't know. Some mid-western state that starts with an "M". It could have taken place in my living room and I still wouldn't have found it entertaining.
Why?- Good question. I keep asking myself the same thing.
Wrap-up- This has got to be, hands down, arguably one of the most terrible horror movies I have ever seen. At least with other busts they attempt some iota of a story line that works, and you can at least find some humor in the stupidity of the film. This one is just frustrating! The dialogue is awful, the characters are lack luster, the plot is disjointed and the ending is anti-climactic. There is nothing about this film worth watching. End of story.
No comments:
Post a Comment